Monday, July 27, 2009

Korean Parliament Drop-Kickery raises questions about U.S. Term Limits

This past Wednesday the South Korean Parliament again descended in to chaos with capital fucking 'C', once again blurring the lines between their legislative body and wrasslin'.

Snap in to a Slim-Jim, brother-r-r-r-r-r-r!!!!

While this may not be exactly how we would like our representatives to behave, it does raise some serious issues regarding our own legislative branch: could they win in a steel-cage match versus any other legislative assembly in the world? At this point, I think not. You know what this means: term-limits, fuckers!

Can you imagine if this happened in the US House or Senate? While there would hopefully be far less slap-boxing, there would DEFINITELY be far more Geritol-taking and complaining about prostate issues. Yeah, I said it - our public servants are old as fuck. In this line of reasoning 'fuck' = 35yrs cubed. One more reason for term-limits: can you imagine any of our senators gathering together and lifting a piano to block a door or commandeering a fire-hose to pry the opposition out of a barricaded chamber? I think not. The most that our reps could hope to achieve would be nudging a coffee table across the waiting area with their posse of Rascals.

Sadly, the annual Kennedy vs. Stevens rascal-off is no more.

Seriously, if we are ever going to be taken seriously as a country we need to start getting some youth and athleticism into our legislative bodies. If I were to create a video montage, interspersing metaphoric scenery from the Korean parliament with scenery from the US Senate/House of Representatives, it would go something like this:

Korea (to the opening chords of "Thunderstruck"):

United States (crickets chirping):

Korea (accompanied by Carmina Burana):

United States (to the tune of "Sittin on the dock of the bay")

My case: it is rested.

UPDATE: This could also go a long way in solving our budget deficit - can you imagine the pay-per-view revenues that would be created by a Korean Parliament style showdown over Universal Health care? People would be jumping off of the gallery, swinging from chandeliers - instead of filibusters there would be steel cage matches.

"Civil Unions!" "Marriage!" "Civil Unions!"

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